Dawn of the Skull Roses of NYC
by z8uAtThePizzAplace
Summary: a tear in the space-time continuum causes bizarre natural disasters that threaten to destroy the Earth, so Don makes a time machine to go back and stop the tear from happening. Meanwhile, Mikey plans to tell his brothers a dark secret. General fic with a touch of crack and a quarter teaspoon of ground cinnamon.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own TNMT**

**This probably sucks, but it's my first fan fiction(okay yeah that's no excuse). Apologies in advance if this offends someone. Kind of a crack fic so don't expect anything to make sense. Constructive criticism is welcome but no flaming or I WILL COME FIND YOU(Just kidding, I won't but I won't be happy).**

Michelangelo wandered the streets of New York, wondering how he could tell his brothers his secret: he was growing a second head.

Each and every day, the small bump on his neck grew larger and larger. He lied by saying he injured it by eating pizza too quickly. They didn't seem to believe it and he'd have to come clean soon: the bump seemed to be growing a mouth, and he hoped it wouldn't start making noises before his brothers understood what was going on.

He paused at an alley, where he heard rustling. He looked and saw a piece of metal lying beside a dumpster.

He picked it up and examined it. There was nothing special about it: it was a sheet of steel or something, twinkling in the moonlight. He decided he'd take it back to the sewers and give it to Donatello. He'd probably make something with it.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang. An apartment nearby was consumed by flames. Mikey dropped the steel-like metal and went to see what happened.

Once the steel hit the ground, a large purple beam shot up from it, into the sky. Mikey stopped to look at it, but got distracted by the screams coming from the apartment. He grabbed a fire hose and used it on the apartment, trying to put it out.

The beam hit an asteroid far, far away. The asteroid grew two arms and started to expand, slowly gaining in diameter as it traveled through space toward Jupiter….

Dun dun dun


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

A fire truck showed up to help put out the flame. Mike tried to blend in with the shadows, but it was too late-people saw him and took pictures. He was all over the internet. Everyone knew that a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle existed! *gasp*

He ran off, going to the sewers-but then he stopped. If he went down there, people might follow him and discover there were more like him! He hid in a store that was closed. The owners seemed to have forgotten to look the doors because he got in with no difficulty.

Then he realized something: this was a pizza shop! And there was leftover pizza in the back!

Mikey was a happy turtle.


	3. Chapter 3

The asteroid collided into Jupiter and cracked in half. Something was inside: a box full of ooze that lead all over the asteroid and out onto Jupiter. The asteroid used it's new arms to push itself off of Jupiter and back into space. Meanwhile, Jupiter began to mutate…

Back in the pizza shop, Mikey was busy eating all the leftover pizza. The second head on his neck opened it's mouth and started to make a weird whining noise. Mikey just gave it some pizza, hoping that would make it stop.

It worked, but the mouth didn't have any teeth yet and tried to chew with it's babyish gums. THen it swallowed the pizza and started to choke. Mikey attempted to perform CPR on himself, but it failed.

The second head began gagging until it managed to spit up the pizza and try to chew it again by mashing it some more with its baby gums before swallowing and gagging again.


	4. Chapter 4

Jupiter grew a giant mouth with fangs and started to eat the other planets in the Milky Way. It stopped traveling in its usual rotation around the Sun so it could eat the other planets. This defied the Laws of Logic, like many other things-but Jupiter had gone too far!

God showed up and told Jupiter it was grounded, then threw it in a black hole FOR FIFTEEN YEARS. Yay, the solar system was saved! -Or was it?

On Earth, giant rain clouds formed, raining razor blades from the sky. The space-time continuum had gotten a rip from what Jupiter had done, and thus razor blades were falling from the sky and the Laws of Logic were rewritten. Thus, a volcano in the Hawaiian islands shot radioactive man-eating lobsters into the sky and onto the islands to wreck havoc!

The FBI showed up and shot tranquilizer darts at the lobsters-but it failed! The lobsters had sheilds made of plexiglas!


	5. Chapter 5

Leonardo was watching the news. A reported was wearing armor as she was pelted by falling razor blades.

"Here I am live in Manhattan," she said into her microphone, "As you can see, the razor blades are still falling from the sky. This has been going on for hours now and for seemingly no reason. Scientists report that a rip in the space-time continuum may be to blame for this. Now to George with the weather."

"Thank you, Stacy," George said. Behind him was a map of the Hawaiian islands. He pointed to Maui, saying, "In Maui, the lobsters continue to spread and eat random men. THe FBI have failed to stop them from spreading across the islands. Everyone in Honolulu has been picked up by helicopters and taken to California, where they will stay until these lobsters are stopped. THe rest of the Hawaiian population is still being evacuated."

"This just in," Stacy said. The screen showed UFOs landing in the middle of the street and aliens coming out. "This is in Austin, Texas, which is being invaded by aliens! It's unknown where they are from, but they have landed and are leaving their UFOs. As you can see, the aliens are holding blasters in their hands-they have begun shooting random buildings-the buildings seem to be melting!"

The blasters were some kind of heat rays which made the buildings melt like butter. People fled their homes. Many surrounded the aliens, wielding their own guns and opening fire.

"The Texans are fighting back! -But wait, the aliens seem unaffected by their bullets!"

THe bullets bounced off the aliens harmlessly. THe civilians ran out of firepower and ran to the nearest ammo store as the aliens continued to melt every building on the street.

"Hey, Don, did you hear what's happening on the news?" Leo asked the other turtle, who was busy screwing two pieces of metal together.

"Yeah, that's why I'm making a time machine so we can go back and prevent the tear in the time-space continuum," Don responded.

Suddenly, the foot attacked and stole all their weapons!

"Ha ha ha you are disarmed," the Shredder said, walking out from the shadows, "Now we will take all your metal so you can't stop this from happening and I will slash your heads off."

Raphael pulled a shotgun out of his *ss and shot the Shredder and all the foot soldiers. They retreated. Then Don finished making the time machine.

Mikey finished all the pizza and snuck back outside. He made sure there was no one around to see him, then tried to sneak back to the sewer. Suddenly, the cops surrounded him.

"I'm getting arrested!?" Mike gasped.

"No, but you are getting the Nobel Peace prize for putting out that fire," Oprah said, getting out of one of the cop cars. A news reporter showed up to film Mikey getting the Nobel Peace prize.

"Hey, that's Mikey!" Leo said, seeing the other turtle on the news.

"Is there anything you'd like the public to know about you?" the reporter asked, handing Mike the microphone.

"No," the turtle responded, taking the Nobel Peace prize and running off with it.

"Hey, wait! I want to interview you-!" but he got away and hid in the shadows.


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, this is a short chapter. I promise the next will be longer. I read a few fics on this site and it seems most people prefer longer chapters, but I'm used to keeping mine short. :(**

April was in her house, sitting on the couch and watching the news. Suddenly, someone broke into her house! It was the Shredder!

She threw the remote at him and it hit him in the eye so hard it bled. He left to go get an eyepatch.


	7. Chapter 7

Mikey went back to the sewers, where he met up with his brothers. Don finished the time machine once Mike showed up.

"Guys, there's something I need to tell you," Mike said, taking a deep breath, "It's about the bump on my neck."

"You're growing a second head," Leo responded.

"You already knew? How?"

"It has a mouth and two eyes already."

"Wha….?" he looked at the second head. Surely enough, there were two sets of eyelids squeezed shut with the actual eyeballs developing inside. "What should I do?"

"...You know what you have to do," Leo responded.

"...Um….."

"Look, Mikey…so maybe you're far from the most serious guy in the world, but we trust you to make sound judgements when it comes to, um, these kinds of things."

The other three turtles hugged Mike, telling him that they believed he could decide for himself what to do.

Mikey's eyes started to water as he said, "Thanks, guys…I love you."

"We love you to," Donatello smiled as he turned on the time machine. There was another group hug as it turned on.

"...How did this even happen?" Mikey asked, "I-it was completely unexpected…."

"No one ever expects it," Leo told him, "It just happens one day."

Then, the head grew into a full head, popped off, and flew away.

"Good bye, second head!" Mikey shouted, waving and crying with tears of joy. They grow up so fast.


	8. Chapter 8

The turtles used the time machine to go back to when Mikey found the metal that appeared to be steel. "Give me that," Raphael said, taking it from the past Mikey. He broke it in half and then it turned to dust.

"...Uh…." the past Mikey said.

"Exactly," the present Mikey responded. He put his hand on his past self's shoulder and said, "About that second head…"

"Why are there two of me?"

"That's not important-what is important, though…...don't give that thing any pizza. It will choke. Let it grow to be healthy."

The past Mike nodded, "I understand."

They hugged and then the turtles returned to the present.

"Bye, past Mikey," they said.

"Uh, bye," past Mikey said.


	9. Chapter 9

When they returned to the present, everything seemed to be back to normal. Mikey turned on the news: there was nothing about man-eating lobsters in Hawaii, raining razor blades, aliens landing in Texas, nothing.

"Looks like we fixed the space-time continuum," Mikey grinned, happy(no duh).

"Yep, we did," Leonardo responded.

Splinter showed up and suggested, "You should get some pizza to celebrate."

So they did.


End file.
